January 6, Day of Terror and Celebration

Day eleven of Israel's slaughter has resulted in the deaths of more innocent Palestinians and now IDF soldiers by their own hand.  I wonder how many IDF are refusing to fight in Gaza, how many have now become "refuseniks"?  I cannot fathom the terror that Gazans must feel.  I cannot imagine the adrenaline rush IDF soldiers get when called to action.  Those narrow, dark, streets, with rubble littering the ground, wounded and crying Palestinian children running for shelter... could there be a more gruesome hell?  Even with tiny hands covering their ears, the sound of utter destruction, bombs falling, houses crushing, people screaming "help, I've been hit," is all those children are hearing today.  It's been eleven days of this, do you think they sleep at all?  And now, now there are gun battles taking place in the street outside, an Israeli boot knocks down the door, huddled Palestinian children try to crawl back into their mother's wombs as guns point toward their little faces.  If only there was some place to go, but even the UN school where some fled has been bombed.  When this happened in Srebenica in Bosnia Herzegovina, the world called it "genocide" and promised it would never again occur on this planet... that was over ten years ago... and now?

It is the birthday celebration of my finance today, but I do not feel like celebrating.  I've been following the crisis on the internet and the news, but the latter tells nothing of the horrific destruction being done upon the Palestinian women and children.  Only the internet gives accurate accounts and pictures that make my skin crawl.  The "Free Gaza" post has not been updated since yesterday, and the last message was a plea for prayers as the writer was experiencing shelling beside his home.  I fear he is probably dead at this point.

How to go forward from here is a question that is being debated throughout the world today.  Major leaders in most countries around the world are trying to solve the issue diplomatically.  Unfortunately, the president elect, Barak Obama has kept silent on the issue.  Now I feel betrayed!  I willingly voted for that man, mistakenly believing that he would step up and criticize Israel for her harsh collective punishment of innocent civilians.

I lie awake at night trying to imagine a solution.  In 2005, I had the dream of building schools in Palestine, particularly in the Gaza Strip, where Israel had pulled out after almost forty years of occupation.  Hamas won the "democratic election", though, and my trip through Middle East Children's Alliance (MECA) was cancelled.  The idea was to build schools through a non-profit organization I titled "Building Schools, Building Bridges".  American, Israeli, and Palestinian teachers would collaborate to design a curriculum that would address all facets of the conflict.  Men and women from the refugee camps (because portions of Gaza consist of refugee camps where the people depend upon organizations such as UNWRA for complete assistance) would build the schools, hired out for a reasonable hourly wage.  The materials for construction were to come from companies that desired a positive image in the region (maybe Halliburton... yeah right).

I had the good fortune to protest while I was in Houston.  The two days I went, December 29, 30, there were few, but passionate people.  My son and I were two of four white Americans and we carried a poster that read "Americans for Palestine."  The Palestinians were pleased that we were there to support their cause.  If they only knew that my heart and soul ached for Palestine, that I hope to see peace in the region in my lifetime, and that my academic career is devoted to the history of this country's foreign relations with the Middle East.

Perhaps I will write more later...